Poker In The Rear Joke

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• A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiousity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog.
• Everybody has something to say. And, apparently, many people have something to say about poker. From inspirational to true to obscure to funny poker quotes, and everything in between, take a look at these best quotes about poker.
• Last night I got thrown out of a casino apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table. In Vegas they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there. I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money. I had nothing to.

• Liquor In The Front Poker In The Rear Joke

Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs. Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

It's a pundemic.

Humor is essential to coping through tough times. Shared laughter gives us strength in adversity and can help us feel a bit more in control when the future looks uncertain. Most important, funny jokes — even funny coronavirus and quarantine jokes — bring us together and help us to feel connected, one pandemic quarantine pod to another. And laughter literally makes us stronger: Recent studies have found that a good laugh can boost our dopamine levels and even shore up our immune systems.

So, while we obviously need to take COVID-19 very seriously, and follow the recommendations from the CDC and the WHO, we also need to laugh. We could all use a few moments in the day that feel lighter, and a well-timed pandemic joke might just take your mind off the apocalypse-adjacent state of the world and serve as a reminder that there’s always something, however small, to smile about. From convos with pets to lock down spins on the classic knock-knocks, here are some of the funniest quarantine, COVID-19, and virus jokes on the internet.

Funniest Quarantine Jokes

1. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
2. Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
3. Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
4. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
5. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
6. My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!
7. After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
8. If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
9. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
10. Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.
11. Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder
12. I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a six-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
13. The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
14. Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.
15. I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference.
16. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog–we laughed a lot.
17. Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
18. I finished Netflix today.
19. Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic? Bitch read the room.
20. – Knock knock. Who is there? Seriously, don’t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.
21. Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Funniest Coronavirus Jokes

1. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….
2. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
3. What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? A glass of wine in each hand.
4. If coronavirus isn’t about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?
5. What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
6. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst-kase scenario.
7. Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
8. You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
9. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
10. Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste.
11. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
12. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
13. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
14. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
15. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
16. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
17. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
18. What did the man say to the bartender? I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.
19. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
20. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
21. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
22. Yeah, I have plans tonight. I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.
23. Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
24. 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.
25. What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine? Inside jokes!
26. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
27. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
28. Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!

'Liquor in/up (the) front, poker in (the) rear/back” is a bar sign saying that has been put in T-shirts and other gift items. The joke plays upon the words “liquor” ('lick her') and “poker” ('poke her').
“Liquor in front, poker in back” and “liquor in the front and poker in the rear” have both been cited in print from 1984.
Yahoo! Answers
Where did “liquor in the front, poker in the back” come from?
2 years ago
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Actually it’s “ liquor in the front, poker in the rear”. It’s an old double entendre probably from the old american west. It’s an obvious double meaning play on words bit describing both a saloon and how to best pleasure a woman sexually.
Back in Time Trading Post
SIGN a nice reprint of an old saloon sign. The sign is a heavy paper stock and reads “Brass Rail Saloon”, “Liquor In Front Poker In Rear” and “El Paso Texas”. It also has “Ace Printing Co.” and “14 JUL 31”. The sign measures about 9 1/2 inches across and is about 6 1/4 inches wide. The paper has browning for an aged appearance. El Paso officially became part of the USA in 1845 when Texas joined the Union and was orginally known as Franklin.
Google Books
Texas Crude:
The how-to on talkin’ Texan
By Ken Weaver
New York, NY: E. P. Dutton
1984
Pg. ?:
LIQUOR IN FRONT, POKER IN BACK.
Google Books
The Complete Book of Drinking Games
By Chugger Downs and E. Z. Buz
New York, NY: Tribeca Communications
1984
Pg. ?:
We witnessed this issue of variety most appropriately when we visited a bar whose welcoming sign read: “Liquor in the Front and Poker in the Rear.”
Google Books
Happy Hours
By Gary Smith
New York, NY: Harmony Books
1987
Pg. 68:
Taped to the cash register behind the bar was a magazine photo of a bare-bottomed playmate holding a sign that read “Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear.”
Google Books
Dirty Work
By Rob Kantner
New York, NY: Bantam Books
1988
Pg. ?:
The T-shirt read “Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Back.”
OCLC WorldCat record
Liquor in the front : poker in the rear
Author: Reverend Horton Heat; WEA Europe.; Carrère music.; Sub Pop ltd.; et al
Publisher: London : WEA Europe ; Le Blanc Mesnil : distrib. Carrère music, 1994 (P)
Edition/Format: Music CD : CD audio : English
Google Books
The Mammoth Book of Humor
By Geoff Tibballs
New York, NY: Carroll & Graf
2000
Pg. 242:
A good woman is like a good bar—liquor in the front and poker in the rear.

Liquor In The Front Poker In The Rear Joke